Most marriages and relationships keep on breaking with numerous reasons that are sometimes hardly to comprehend.
Lavish weddings and ceremonies are vastly sweeping across the globe but about 85 percent of them end up very sour. Most partners or couples quarrel and fight over things that may be logically ‘unreasonable’.
How pathetic it is for couples to divorce over petty issues and items such as toothpastes, sponges, shoes, make-ups, and so on and so forth. Some also marry or go into relationships based on physical materials and looks so when those things fade away, their interest in the marriage or relationship dwindle and they try to look elsewhere to satisfy their ‘physical demands’.
For marriages and relationships to last longer, both must obey and practice the T-R-U-S-T rule. This rule shouldn’t be practiced by only one person in the relationship or marriage but both partners should adhere to it.
With the T-R-U-S-T rule, the following must be done;
• T – The first ‘T’ in the rule signifies Trust. Just as it is the first in the rule, it also happens to be the first thing in marriages and relationships. Trust is the foundation to a healthy and lengthy marriage and relationship. Without trust, marriage and relationship will never work.
For a building to be strong enough, it must have a firm foundation to support it. When the foundation is broken, the building can never stand. It is also very difficult to renovate or replace the foundation whilst the building is still on it. The same thing applies to trust. When trust is broken, it becomes difficult to have a fruitful and a happy marriage or relationship. It also becomes very difficult to rebuild a broken trust.
To enjoy a happy marriage, learn to trust your partner and never do anything that will break the trust the other partner have for you. Never hide anything from your partner and make it a constant practice to tell the truth always no matter the cost. Also, never do things that may pave way for the other partner to cast doubts over you. It may be hard but always think first about integrity and trust.
• R – ‘R’ in the rule signifies Respect. Respect in relationships and marriages is very important if you want to achieve a healthy and lengthy relationship. The decisions of your partner should not be criticized. There are millions of lovely ways to oppose an idea or decision of your partner. Never think to be more important than your partner and always try to acknowledge your partner first in everything more than yourself.
Respect in relationships and marriages can also be shown through communication and attitude. How do you talk to your partner? And is your attitude towards your partner self-centered?
Always regard your partner as a human and treat him or her just as you would like to be treated.
• U – Understanding is the third in the rule. This is where most quarrels and arguments erupt from. We always want our partners to do things our way. Sometimes, understanding becomes very difficult knowing truly that, what the other person has done is logically wrong.
With understanding, there are two things one needs to do if you are finding it very difficult to understand your partner;
1. The first is to ‘be in the shoes of the other’ and always assume that what would have been the reaction of the other person if it would have been you. Always put yourself in the position of the other and it will become easy for you to understand each other.
The moment it appears to you that if it was to be you, you wouldn’t have done or acted that way, that is when the misunderstanding arises. Accept the fact that, we are all human with different attitudes.
2. The second is to compromise. Understand that, in the love triangle, it is not always that you have to win. Sometimes, try and accept the decisions or actions of the person no matter what in order for peace to prevail.
This commence from the basis that you have to know each other very well. If you know your partner very well, there are certain things you will just overlook. Also, understand that, you cannot change everything. There are certain things that can never be changed.
• S – Submit is the third rule. In this modern era, most women do not want to obey this rule. But if you are a woman and you want your marriage to last long, just try this. Submission and humility will save your marriage and relationship in a thousand fold. The Bible has cemented this rule in Ephesians 5:22 – 23 that, wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife. This means that, as a woman, no matter what you are under the man and you must submit and humble yourself. Most women of today want to be on top of men and take control but from the concept of creation, God created men to be the head.
Men love women with humility and are also submissive. Hardly will you see quarrels and fights in the house of a woman who humble and submit to the husband.
For the men, if a woman humbles or submit herself to you, never take it for granted because in Proverbs 31:10, it is written that, “a good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels”. So, it is for you the man to cherish the woman far more than you could ever do for jewels.
• T – The last for the rule is Talk. In other sense, communication is proven to be very important when building a healthy and lengthy relationship. Even with long distance relationships, communication tend to bond the two together. It is like a chemical reaction that binds the two couple or partners together. If couples or partners fail to talk or communicate, the relationship dies gradually.
Also, communication helps one to pour out emotions, problems and matters of the heart. It prevents the heart from harbouring things which may only lead to hatred. When this happens, love eliminates and hatred fills the heart.
With this, don’t try to hide feelings and worries within which may kill you but just let it out. Also, knowing how to talk or communicate to your partner is very important. Every communication has it’s appropriate time for discussion.
Practice this simple rule and your marriage or relationship will be peaceful, healthy and full of happiness.